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Is There Any Place for me to live?

By Mohammad Shahjalal / The Stateless

Today is the forteenth day of my departure from your world. Nobody tried to know, whether I ate anything or not. I felt surprised to see that all the relationship ends with the departure of the soul from the body. Father, mother, brither, sister, relatives, neighbours, friends! Nobody tried to remember what happened to me! Their grief will grow more.

Often I didn’t eat due to anger on my sister and sister. Mother used to make me eat by force. If I didn’t eat; then mother also used to absatin from taking food. Today, for the last fourteen days, I’m floating in the water.

Sometimes the wind is taking my listless body from here to there. I’ve nothing on my body. A pack of fierce animals of this mortal world snatched away my clothes from my body, as dogs gnaw out fleshes from the bones. There’s not a single part of my body, where the nail-scars can not be seen. The civilized society will be ashamed, if I say the names of the places of my body where I have such scars. Now the fishes have pecked to eat the fleshes of my body and makingthe body more weighless.

After a few more days, there’ll not remains of a tiny piece of fascinating flesh.

When I was alive, some animals used to look at me like vultures in a voracious stare. Now while floating, the fishes understood the importance of my flesh. At my death, all the pains of death exceeded aal the pains of the world. When I was born, I didn’t even felt such pain.

I am feeling ashamed. I was born in such a world, where human beings perform most dreadful activity, thoughthey are the most glorious creature of all the creations.

When I was born in this world frpm my mother’s womb, I thought I’m going to be the part of another big heaven leaving my little heaven. Really, I came into a heaven from another heaen. Or was it from a heaven to a hell, I entered that day?

I guess, when I was born, many people spoke out, Oh! It’s a girl. Most of them were sad. They were whisprering, ‘We thought, it would be a boy. But, no its a girl. To be born as a girl is a crime! I couldn’t understand the difference between a girl and a boy. My mother caressed by blood covered body. I thought I really came down to a heaven. My mother’s affection touched my heart and happiness spread all over my body.I felt the touch of my mother. And then another person came near my mother. He seemed different to my mother in appearance. He is a male and cuddled me. I felt his touch, too, in a different way. Then I found that he is my father. Mother’s love is different and love of father is different too. But other looked in a different way. It was hellish!

Today, is the fourteenth day of my departure from your world. I’m like a snake keeps its jewel in the bush and can not go far out of its jewel. My insatisble soul leaves the body without any religious ritual, so it can not reach God’s Court. My rotten body is dissolving and mixing with water gradually. Bad stench of the rotted body is polluting the water and harming the environment. People of the vicinity are being harmed by many bacteria of many diseases are spreading through the water and air. It will also have big influence on onthefuturegeneration and affect their thoughts andsensations. What they will think?

Human kills human being for no apparent cause and the body is decomposed and mix with soil and water without being buried. They feel kindness and infatusation also they will learn to hate theyr near ones. They will grow up with ailing mentality. They will also act like heinous animals in the society.

I do not want to harm around me with my decomposing body. I do not want my fut\ure generation act brutally. I want to hae a little shelter under the surface of the earth, in a grave.

Am I a Hindu or a Muslim
Everybody has the same heart
Am I a Buddhist or a Christian
Everybody has the same right to live.
When I was born, I was mere a child.
Not a Hindu, or a Buddhist, or a Christian, ora Muslim.
I am a human being. I learnt religion from my family.

On that day, colour of my blood was read and till my death, it remained the same, red. Blood flow of everyone’s body is the same. There were other religion or varieties of clan, but the blood is the same. We all have lungs to fill it with air, that supplies oxygen to our body, we have stomach, to fill it with food to get energy, prevent us from hunger. Even, these also have no difference. There are differences in thoughts and senses.

God has created man in the same way. All the diffetrences and discriminations are in the minds of the people, diffetrences in men and women, religion and tribes, even there are differences in between the people in the same religion, diffetrences in between wealthy persons and the poor class is exploited by the upper class, becomes bloodless, poorer class become more poorand more minority because of the exploitation of the wealthier classes.

Why this maltreatment? Why this discrimination? Though evrery person has same heart and same soul, he or she fights against diversity. Why then people kill people? Why there’s river of blood, everywhere. The question floats in the ocean of blood. Whoeer wants tofind the answer, he will be killed will be dipped in the ocean of blood.

I had no question. I had no answer. I just had a wish, a desire for a little shelter on the mother’s lap, enjoying warmth, soothing light and serene air and also enjoy the cuddle of my father.

Why I was killed? Why they killed me?

No, I’m not asking this question to anybody.

Every person of this world has the right to live. Equal right, but not as equal to the minorities. That’s why, I accepted, when I was being undressed. I complained to the society, But now, I hae no complain at ll. When one by one powerful persons molested me, mauled my naked body, then I complained to my government. I was sobbing, groaning, whimpering with the humiliating pains at the time and after the ruthless physical abuse, I was crumpled on the floor listless, like discarded torn paper. When they were killing me by choking my neck, I went on complaining to God and asked for justice. God will put them to justice in the afterlife. God will punish them severely.

There was no claim regarding rights, when I was alive. After death, everybody has one right, one claim. The people of the society have the responsibility, duty to the deadbody.

I want that right. I claim to get myself buried in a ground.

Original in Bangla: Translated by Sidique Mahmudur Rahman